Expectations

by Company Vacation

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about

Expectations is a short album about learning who you after loss.

credits

released October 7, 2016

Kyle Benson: Guitar, Vocals, Piano, Drums, Organ
Stephen Cope: Piano, Vocals, Organ, Trumpet
Emily Brown, Alyssa Benson, Jared Gay, Ben Meyer: Vocals

Expectations was recorded in early June at Studio Studio Dada.

Stephen Cope at Studio Studio Dada not only recorded and mixed the record but produced, played, and helped see through the vision I had for the record. His contribution cannot be stressed enough. Emily Brown helped write vocal parts and wrote and edited lyrics. Huge writing and song structure help from Colin Hatch, who mastered the record.

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about

Company Vacation Orem, Utah

Company Vacation is a very cool music band from Orem, Utah.

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Track Name: I Am My Father
You gave me a pair of cleats when I asked for
a pair of dancing shoes birthday age four.
You smiled as you promised a pitcher I'd be
for the school team like you and your father before.

You made me your little sweet pitcher,
cause you thought that the world could use more of those.
But I longed for the shoes of a dancer,
as you told me that only a fool wears those clothes.

My hands became callused like leather
familiar like sweat on your brow
Just like you old bastard
Can’t you run a little faster?
with that rugged behavior
Spit and swear and savor

You made me your little sweet pitcher,
cause you thought that the world could use more of those.
But I longed for my own self-approval,
while your life taught me only a fool wears those clothes.

Now I dress in patterns I defined
Still expectations with me all the time
Wisdom wears not just a robe of white
I am my father and that is alright

Nor evil black burly bands
nor people as simple as they seem

I am my father
Track Name: Job
I'll place a bet on Job, that he does one better and moves on from You.
When faced with the God damned truth, that his brewing chest pain is a sure allergy to Your fruit

Heavy with a guilt, God you're aiming to kill, this ain't no allegory, it's a soul that you're fucking.
No hint at a life where you're done and you're filled.
Hold-your tongue, shoulder to wheel, this pain is a blessing.

I'm too afraid to feel, I was taught suppression, and a stoic sobriety.
But lately I have a hope, for a rich existence with more than anxiety.

Heavy with a guilt, God you're aiming to kill, this ain't no allegory, it's a soul that you're fucking.
No hint at a life where you're done and you're filled.
Hold tongue, shoulder to wheel, this pain is a blessing.

I'm starting to see that Hope, is really simple when I forget God and Hell.
And calling the bets all off, without consenting, I’m feeling just as well.

I'm howling at the moon for an eternity with you
Lord God of the middle class, I am exhausted
In my dreams I am drowning.
Save me from myself, I am frail and this feel pointless

And hope
is placin a bet on Job
Track Name: Bias
I caused the weight carried on you, rosy pain behind your skin
Both brown eyes soft from tears and sleep you quoted Huckleberry Finn
'All right, then, I will go to hell, my Lord is worthy that complaint',
He is my drug, you are my pain.

A stack of notes and memories hold place for when your lover leaves
Without you I've got no cause, to step out into the throes
Of a day without your print, affections I cannot believe
You're my delight my enemy, my delight my enemy

Did you expect my constant love or see the coming of this day
I hope to be what you dreamed up, even if that man is a shame.
I am consumed by your bias, I am the prism you shine through,
I am your light I am your frame.
Track Name: I Was Proud
A picture of us three,
On that first road trip
I miss seeing my dog
Visuals less than memories
I forget scents and sounds

I still have her things
down in the crawl space
Her phone plan’s in my name
Though our friends say kind things
I still feel like I hold all the blame.

Very many men have expected more than I of you
Very many times when I put aside what I thought I knew

I wish we could talk about it
I was proud, I was proud

But there, that's the problem my heart
prone to nostalgia
locked down to a fragile memory
Before we had that fight in Georgia.

With someone new I'll lose that portion of life I had with you.
My greatest fear of all is that I'm too late to start anew

I sold everything in that room but I still feel the mourning,
I dream out the same old you and wake to feel your scorning,
But I don't blame you,
for taking off, I was proud

And there that's the problem my love
prone to forgive you
locked down to a fragile memory
before you took my dog and left me
Track Name: Will I Go To Hell
Would I still call it truth if by ritual
I cannot love you?
My life would come to a dull standstill
under the guise of a bitter pill

But the sacrament and saints I still call my own
And I pray to that same God pictured high on a throne
Visions of the holy, all the more deserving
of that bosom burning

Will I go to hell?

Am I worthy, God, of your attention?
When judged, am I too lowly to be mentioned?
Am I worthy, God, disapproving?
Do you find my questions amusing?

Will I go to hell?